I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
