Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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