When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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