I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
