we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The Olympian is in my bed
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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