i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
