i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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