I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
