BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
