I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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