stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
