YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
