I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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