Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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