I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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