Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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