And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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