Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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