come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
