hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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