More tranny stories later!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
