you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
