What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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