My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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