i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
