I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
