you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
