I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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