How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
