I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My dick has a subreddit
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
