I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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