my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
