I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
