Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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