Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
