we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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