i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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