You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
