I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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