This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
cat food counts as protein by the way
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
