She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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