Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize