I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
