At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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