God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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