Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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