look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
