Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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