fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
