Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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