Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
