You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
