why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
