i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
