drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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